Your mental and emotional state or Mindset is critical when you begin considering and during transition.  It’s equally important to your continued progress forward.  It’s the difference between struggling being stuck versus moving forward confidently.  Create a new vision for your life and focus on that.

It’s not about your clothes or appearance!  You need to own your identity!  And own it as you did the “male or female representative” you were living behind.  You need to shed your “representative” completely and totally.

I developed a practice of mindfulness meditation to calm and center me on my vision for my life after transition and I still practice.  You need to control the daily thoughts and self-talk.  When facing something new and scary such as changing your gender and social roles, your defense mechanisms take over with fear, and can sabotage you if you let them.  You imagine all the possible scenarios where things go wrong.   Practice turning destructive thoughts around to support your vision for your life.  It doesn’t happen all at once. With each new experience this practice becomes easier.

For example, in July 2015, three weeks before moving into my apartment and living as Wendy full time, I was told I would always look like a man in a dress.  When I began preparing to transition in January, that comment would have angered and stopped me for a while.  But in July, my response was, “at least I’ll be a happy man in a dress”.

In reality, I had no idea what life would be like as Wendy, and few people ever do.  But I knew what I needed to do and I was ready for anything. It’s the most profound change a person will ever face and significantly different from cross dressing.  Mindset and Vision is critical to carry you through each new life experience, during your first few years.