Today I want to share something important for Transgender people coming out. Your story is important no matter where you are in transition.

Most people never question or think about their gender! So remember you are your own advocate. Tell your story with confidence and own it! When most people see you totally accept yourself, they will most likely accept you too. Don’t expect cisgender people to understand. The best result is acceptance. And be prepared for questions. It’s an opportunity to engage and educate.

When coming out to friends, relatives, co-workers, classmates, etc. you need to have a short story of your life. About two minutes is long enough.

Begin with your earliest memories of knowing something was different. Go on to describe the pain, fear, shame, or any of these feelings. People hearing your story, despite their personal beliefs and feelings, may begin to relate to your feelings and listen to you. Continue with the high points of your life. Everyone asked me why I married, so my story included what I was told by doctors and my parents, “Once I have a wife, career, children and a home, I’d forget I am a girl”. Obviously that was wrong.

When you get to current day in your story, state Transgender is now considered a treatable medical condition with therapy, hormone therapy, and surgeries. Emphasize it’s not a choice. It’s something you need to do for yourself to be happy and complete.

Personally I shared my history of seeing psychiatrists for anxiety and severe depression without revealing the under lying cause and living in a fog of meds. In the 20th century and early 21st the medical community was not our friend. I was even called a freak by a psychiatrist in public.

Lastly people tend to merge sexual orientation (who you love) with gender identity (how you identify). Try to help them understand the difference. And who you love, is none of anyone’s business and you may not really know until you are well into transition. Share only if you want to.