In our society anyone marginalized potentially faces the fear underneath overt hatred from others. Yes, it’s far easier to hate someone you don’t understand than to have love for them as another human being. People initially feel some degree of fear for what they don’t understand. Whereas real love requires being open to another, even vulnerable and open to knowing how that person feels who is perceived as being different. The fear they feel enables them to join with others in hatred of those they don’t understand; security in the group. This is currently rampant in our society. It’s always been with us to various degrees in many forms. I understood this when I transitioned in 2015. But I was doing what I needed to do for me!

I began sharing my life and journey in podcast interviews.  I’m doing so in hopes of being a counter voice to all the misinformation and BS promoted by politicians and so-called religious people about being born transgender. Lack of knowledge enables them to use transgender as a wedge to create divisions in society. I’m just one of many stories. How many people have actually met a transgender person that they know of? And do they know what it feels like to be born transgender and the struggles we all face throughout our lives? Most people never question their gender or even think about it or even the word. For most people gender just is. So I don’t expect people to understand. I’m sharing my personal life as someone who has lived this experience. I just ask people to approach listening with an open mind. Hopefully, this will initially result in shifting perspectives for some people. That’s my goal.

I feel the balance I’ve walked over the last nine years has shielded me from most direct hatred, death threats, etc. My goal was “blend into society” as a woman. “Blending” allows others to see me as I am, Wendy, without needing to know about my past. They get to know me as just another person regardless of gender. I may later reveal my life and feelings with someone who seems comfortable with me and may become a good friend. The fact they got to know me first seems to remove any possibility of fear and hatred. This allows me to share with them. It’s so much more difficult to fear and hate someone who is openly sharing themselves.

When my clients begin we focus on self-awareness and self-acceptance as the foundation for “blending in”. For my entire life I really disliked myself before transition in 2015. So, we focus from day one on the mental aspects necessary to achieve their authentic gender. We do a lot of work to change daily thoughts and emotions shifting their beliefs so they can see what is possible for them. With increased self-awareness and self-acceptance, deconstructing and rebuilding behaviors and mannerisms associated with socialization becomes much easier and very natural. Afterall, gender expression is not absolute black or white. It is a continuum or spectrum. This is how I help people with “blending” into everyday life as themselves. And I know personally how wonderful it is to experience “self-love” for the first time in my life!

So, regardless of the haters and others who’ll never be open to me, I’ll keep going! I have met people from around the country who just never had any real knowledge of what being born transgender is about. And especially how it profoundly affects a person’s life. I am providing my knowledge and life experiences. Red state, blue state, or any other demographics, I know there are people open minded enough to listen and be informed. When I heard my friend in Tennessee is up to eight death threats now, I can’t sit still for that. It’s sad, disgusting and based in fear and lack of real information. That inspires my efforts to educate and inform anyone open to listening.

I’m really excited about my latest project. I’m currently collaborating with an author and podcaster Lynn Murphy of Arizona. Lynn is an open caring person who has become a real ally. Her book, “Women Who Push the Limits 50 Life Lessons from Inspiring Women” is on Amazon. We became friends and are creating a podcast series “Demystifying the Transgender Journey”. We have recorded approximately thirty hours of video since December 20^th and are creating the episodes now. They are in depth discussions and nothing is off limits! We’ll begin airing the episodes soon, so stay tuned for our announcement.